Empowering our daughters to listen to their bodies!

 Empowering our children to listen to their bodies and not stereotypes!

Kasey Edwards’ daughter Violet is only four, but she’s already learning an unpleasant lesson: “women policing other women’s appetites is a great conversation starter, or even a bonding ritual.” In a Daily Life op-ed, Edwards writes about how a woman commented on the chocolate cake and ice cream that Violet was eating at a cafe, asking her: “You're not going to eat all of that, are you?" Edwards observes that "the woman meant her comment to be friendly, but it was the only thing [the stranger] commented on to Violet.”

In musing about this "policing" of girls' and women's appetites, Edwards writes, “Babies are born understanding their own appetites. They know when they’re full and when they’re hungry. Everyone around babies trusts them to regulate their own appetites. But as they grow, rather than teaching them to honor and listen to their bodies, we teach girls in so many ways that not only is their appetite not to be trusted but something to be ashamed of... Eating – or that lack of it – becomes a performance. Satisfying our body’s wants and needs is secondary to satisfying the expectations of the people around us.”

  
“This early policing becomes so ingrained in our way of thinking that later in life women come to believe they need it,” Edwards says. “Women are bombarded with unsolicited diet advice on a daily basis about what's okay to eat, when it's okay to eat it, what macro-nutrient we should be avoiding this month, and how many calories we should or shouldn't be consuming. All of this reinforces the belief that we can’t trust our bodies. We approach our bodies as if they are unruly and deceitful enemies that need to be battled with and contained. And that we need to enlist a small army of soldiers to assist in conquering it.”

“Violet is in kindergarten and already people — even complete strangers — are judging her food choices, intimating that she should distrust these choices and that her appetite should be ignored,” Edwards writes. “Back in the café Violet stopped for a moment, smiled at the woman and continued eating her cake. She didn’t eat all her cake... At four years old, she stopped eating because she was full and didn’t want any more. But I wonder how long it will be until she no longer hears or trusts her body and stops eating because she’s afraid that somebody is watching. And judging.”

Have you observed people policing your own Mighty Girl's or other women's appetites or women doing the same to themselves?

For a few great books about the importance of loving yourself -- regardless of the input from others -- check out "I Like Myself" for ages 3 to 8 , "A Smart Girl's Guide to Liking Herself, Even on the Bad Days" for ages 9 to 12 , and "The Body Image Workbook for Teens: Activities to Help Girls Develop a Healthy Body Image in an Image-Obsessed World" for ages 13+
 
For an excellent resource for teens on eating disorders that helps them examine their relationship with food, check out "What's Eating You?: A Workbook for Teens with Anorexia, Bulimia, and Other Eating Disorders" for ages 13 and up